Chapter 9 : Uncaring

Captain’s Log,

It was good to have Leila home again. Even if for us no time had really passed, I’m glad that she is back. Ruby has started to drive me crazy with all of her crazy pregnancy hormones and her sudden clinginess. I don’t know how I dealt with this when she was pregnant with Leila or Hilda and Maria. I can’t remember too well but I swear she couldn’t have been this bad. But when Leila is around it seems like things just go smoother.

With the extra money Leila brought home we started to save up for some more additions on the house. Until then, we stored the nectar racks, filled with nectar, that she brought back in the living room. She insisted on placing them herself and making sure that none of the bottles were hurt in the transportation. When she was finally satisfied we all went to bed tired from the long day.

However Ruby didn’t get much sleep. She woke up in the middle of the night to give birth to our final child.

Not wanting to bother me since I had work the next morning, Ruby moved to the living room to give birth, leaving me in our bedroom to fall asleep to worries about her health and our future.

I really shouldn’t have worried about anything though since soon enough Ruby gave birth to our fifth daughter, Darryl. I was upset that we didn’t have a son. I tried no to show it, but I think Ruby secretly knew. I’ll still try and care for Darryl as much as I can, but I really wish that she had been born a he.

Since Ruby was exhausted she immediately put Darryl to bed and went back to bed herself.

Maria and Hilda are early risers these days. They are always getting up before dawn. I told them very strictly that they were no longer allowed to go outside in their pajamas so now they just hang out in their shared room and talk until it’s breakfast time or the school bus comes.

Leila is really a savior. She doesn’t complain at all about having to help take care of any of her sisters. She just steps up to the plate and makes sure that Darryl and Nelly are fed and clean in the morning before making sure that Hilda and Maria eat something before school. She’s also maintaining an A in school, staying on the honor roll. I really don’t know how she does it.

I think she might be doing everything she can so that she can go on another adventure though. As soon as she returned from France she was immediately wanting to go to France again. I wish I would be able to continually send her places, but with so many people in the family and so little money coming in we just don’t have the money to afford it even though sending her on adventures actually makes us money.

Once the girls went off to school and I went off to work, Ruby sat down with Nelly to teach her how to talk. She already knew how to walk and go to the bathroom, so this was the last skill she had to learn. Ruby was anxious to teach her how to talk so that she would have less work to do.

I honestly don’t know what Ruby does all day when she doesn’t care for the girls. She’s always complaining to me that she has too much to do and she can’t do what she wants, but she never does anything even when Leila or I am around to help with the toddler and baby. All her complaints are starting to get on my nerves. She was so willing and eager to have this lifestyle at the beginning and now all she does is complain. I think her attitude is one of the strongest factors that drives me away from the family and life here.

After work I didn’t even bother going home. I couldn’t face Ruby today. Every time I looked into her eyes I saw her accusations about me wishing Darryl was a boy. I know it was wrong of me, but I accept so many of her faults that her not being patient with me on this one really hurt. I hid in the library until the evening to get away from her. I knew that Leila would get home soon after I should have and help with the children so I wasn’t worried about Ruby getting over worked.

That evening was Hilda and Maria’s birthday. I made sure to get home right before their party so that I could support them. However when the time came, I just couldn’t smile. Luckily Hilda was too preoccupied with growing up to notice.

She was so happy that she was becoming a teen that I felt really bad for not celebrating with her.

After the transition, she showed off the beautiful young woman that she was becoming. She decided to change her look, like normal, but I think that she’s rather stunning.

Maria’s turn was next and she was just as excited about becoming a teen as Hilda was. I had to turn around once so that she wouldn’t see my unenthusiastic expression.

She too turned into a very pretty young lady and I was able to muster myself to cheer for the two of them when they turned to me for approval.

We sat down for a dinner of cake before the girls had their make-overs. Ruby mentioned to me that she was still young and we could always try for another baby before it was too late for us to have children. Maria gave me a questioning look, but thankfully said nothing. I really don’t want my sour mood to ruin her birthday.

First up for a make-over was Hilda. She chose to go back to her old hair style and update her clothing to a more easy to move in outfit.

Maria decided to change everything about her other than the fact that she was wearing a dress.

Both of them have turned into amazing women. I have just realized that I barely know either of them. I spent so much of my time when they were children off at work of gaining skills that I barely know my own daughters. The thought scares me a little, but the one that scares me even more is that I can’t even summon up the want to know them better.