Thursday, March 4, 2010

Chapter 12 : Change of Heart

Captain’s Log,


Ruby went into labor tonight. I don’t know if I should be happy and excited or not, but a cloud of uncaring has come over me recently.


It doesn’t really matter anyway, it was another girl. Ruby decided to name her Arylon. I just went to sleep.


No one really pays any attention to Darryl. I should feel bad about that. I know that I should take time to play with her and teach her her skills, but I no longer care. She mostly just sits and plays with her toys now.


I think that all four of the older girls were old enough to feel the tension in the air. The oldest three girls entertained themselves by reading, and doing their homework, just trying to stay out of the way as much as possible. It’s the weekend, but they were still studious which I guess is good. At least they aren’t acting up and causing me problems.


Nelly threw herself into baking. She’s not old enough to use the actual kitchen, but loves the little toy oven.


She got a call from one of her teachers that they wanted their students to get to know each other better and were pairing students off to become friends. I don’t really know how you can force someone to become friends with someone else, but Nelly decided to try anyway since it would help her in school and she needed all the help she could get.


The person that she randomly got paired up with the boy that she had met at her friends house a few days before.


She found out that his name was Clyde, and surprisingly ended up bonding really well with him after their first encounter. I think that the fact that they could both kind of tell what was happening inside the house helped them get closer. After just one day of hanging out they became good friends.


Leila had to step up to the plate once again. Ruby had disappeared, I don’t know where, and I escaped to the library. Leila ended up teaching Darryl all of her toddler skills over the weekend because she knew that once school started again Darryl would likely be ignored and not taught anything.


Hilda has a very logical mind and decided that she was going to throw herself into the pursuit of logic as she had at exercising. I think she finds cold logic appealing because it makes sense. She thinks that maybe if she can become good enough at it, then she’ll be able to solve all the problems around her.


Maria, meanwhile, wasn’t very interested in pursuing anything much right now, but decided that she wanted to change herself in hopes that it would help ease the family and make people like each other more. She’s a really friendly girl and just wanted everyone to get along.


Eventually she turned back to her music, hoping that the sweet melodies she played that soothed her so much, would be able to sooth her family as well.


When Nelly mastered the toy oven and was able to make cakes, she wandered around with nothing to do until she found the easel again.


She spent so much time working on her painting and proudly showed it to me. It wasn’t technically all that great of a painting, but the joy in her eyes as she looked at it reminded me of when I first fell in love with Ruby and had Leila. Those times back then were so much more happy. I don’t know what happened to me recently. Sure, times have been hard and I miss my family terribly, but at the same time I have a family here that stills loves me even after I’ve treated them so badly. I don’t really deserve their love, but I’m happy for it all the same.


She almost cried out of happiness when I suggested that we hang it up in the nursery. It doesn’t really match anything, but at the same time, it made her happy. That was enough for me since the painting reminded me that I could be happy, like I had been once before. And every time I see it I remember that I have been blessed with my family and need to let them know that I see it that way.


The other thing that helped me remember was reconnecting to Leila. There was just so much that felt like was dragging me down and I had no one else to turn to. Ruby and I barely spoke anymore, let alone interact as a married couple should. Leila is still my little savior. She’s looking after my family and after me as well. She sought me out made sure that I ate and slept and took care of myself even though I didn’t care too. She made me realize that I had put so much into my job, even neglecting my family for it at times, and was so close to that last promotion I needed that I shouldn’t give up right now. I told her that I was worried that I had burned too many bridges between myself and my family, but she reassured me that she and the others could understand and that everything would turn out ok.


In fact, that very next day I got promoted to Creature Robot Cross-Breeder. When I got home the girls were still at school so Ruby was the only one home. I really wanted to reconnect with her, so I gave her a huge hug as I told her that I had finally reached my dream. I think I’m still going to try and rebuild my airship, but I still want to stay with my family and make it all up to them. However, as I was hugging Ruby, I got the feeling that her heart wasn’t in it anymore. I hope things haven’t gotten so bad that it’s no longer fixable.


When Nelly came home, Leila helped her with her homework. She seemed a little frustrated at times because Nelly just seemed to not understand the most basic concepts. I’m beginning to worry about her, but I’m sure that Leila has everything under control.


Today was also Nelly’s birthday. She’s going to become a teen. Hopefully with the next stage of life, things will be just a little easier for her. She is a really sweet girl who never complains even though I’m sure she has had plenty happen to her that she could complain about.


She grew up into an absolutely gorgeous young woman. I worry that all the boys are going to be hanging around her every word. I need to take more interest in her so that she understands that life isn’t all about boys. She seems to have a rather level head on her shoulders though so I think she’ll turn out just fine.


I think that Nelly will join Leila in holding a special place in my heart. I was falling into a place that I don’t think I would have returned from and would have become a huge burden to my family if her sunny smile and painting as a child hadn’t reached me. I hope that as she ages her beautiful spirit will still remain strong.

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